Games
Rants
Diary of a Game
Zzap Reviews
- Afterburner
- Boing
- Bomb Jack
- Cobra
- Commando
- Cops 'n' Robbers
- Dick Tracy
- Double Dragon
- Further Adventures of Alice in Videoland
- Guerrilla War
- Gunsmoke
- Hard Drivin'
- Jet Strike Mission
- Karnov
- Knight Rider
- Lee Enfield in the Tournament of Death
- Peter Beardsley's International Football
- Return of the Jedi
- Robobolt
- Spaceball
- Street Fighter
- Striker
- The Flintstones
- The Footballer
- WEC Le Mans
- World Cup Carnival
Zzap Reviews
A selection of reviews featured in Zzap magazine, concentrating mainly on the worst games released. The games with the most terrible review scores tend to have the most amusing reviews.
Scoring 9%, not bad if you like colour ZX81 emulators, but the worst program we've seen on the 64.Scoring 9%, not bad if you like colour ZX81 emulators, but the worst program we've seen on the 64.
Scoring a woeful 15%, any decent cowboy would have this lame horse shot and sent to the great software shelf in the sky.Scoring a woeful 15%, any decent cowboy would have this lame horse shot and sent to the great software shelf in the sky.
Hopelessly flawed gameplay and awful appearance make it hopelessly unaddictive. One of the worst football games around. 23%Hopelessly flawed gameplay and awful appearance make it hopelessly unaddictive. Utter uselessness condemns the game to doorstopdom almost immediately. One of the worst football games around. 23%
Porky sprites, too frustrating and not playable enough. A below average game and a disappointing arcade conversion. 47%Porky sprites make the game too frustrating and not playable enough to maintain interest. Bombjack is a below average game and a disappointing arcade conversion. 47%
A game to be recommended only for those wanting to escape a murder charge by pleading absolute, raving madness. 9%One of the hardest, most irritatingly finicky games we've ever suffered with. A game to be recommended only for those wanting to escape a murder charge by pleading absolute, raving madness. 9%
Scoring a pathetic 13%, Cobra was described as an unplayable, unoriginal, unprofessional, unimaginative and unacceptable licensing travesty.Scoring a pathetic 13%, Cobra was described as severely lacking variety, playability and challenge. An unplayable, unoriginal, unprofessional, unimaginative and unacceptable licensing travesty.
The original Football Manager was released well before ZZAP! existed, and it was still miles better than this. 20%The original Football Manager was released well before ZZAP! existed, and it was still miles better than this turkey from Cult. As far as Zzap were concerned, this game was non-league material and slammed with a 20% rating.
If ever a game was akin to watching paint dry, Striker is it. It's a football manager game without the management! 5%If ever a game was akin to watching paint dry this is it. It's a sort of football manager game without the management! 5%
Scoring a woeful 13%, Karnov appears to have been ported directly from the Spectrum, complete with awful block scrolling and colour clash.Scoring a woeful 13%, Karnov appears to have been ported directly from the Spectrum, complete with awful block scrolling and colour clash. A great idea let down by appalling movement, abysmal sound and unfriendly presentation.
Scoring just 8%, Lee Enfield was summed up as an incredibly badly presented and unplayable arcade adventure.Scoring just 8%, Lee Enfield was summed up as an incredibly badly presented and unplayable arcade adventure. The illogicality and tedium of the action coupled with the appalling graphics discourages further play.
The Flintstones scored just 40%, summed up as a poor interpretation of the cartoon, only recommended for die-hard fans.The Flintstones scored just 40%, summed up as a poor interpretation of the cartoon, only recommended for die-hard fans.
Receiving a score of 36%, Tiertex's disastrous conversion was summed up as a poor conversion of a very well received arcade game.Receiving a score of 36%, Tiertex's disastrous conversion was summed up as a poor conversion of a very well received arcade game. Paul Glancey added that you should go elsewhere for beat 'em-up thrills.
This abysmal game with incredibly simplistic gameplay scored 16% on the Amiga, and only 11% on the C64!This abysmal game with incredibly simplistic gameplay scored 16% on the Amiga, and only 11% on the C64! Reviewers summed up the game by saying it had dire sound effects and a poor tune, was dull and boring, repetitive and pointless.
One of the worst racing games on the C64, and over-rated after being awarded 40% by the Zzap team!One of the worst racing games on the C64, and over-rated after being awarded 40% by the Zzap team! Unless you've got no other games in your collection, you won't keep coming back to this, and a very disappointing conversion from a software house with far higher standards.
Reviewed on the same page as Afterburner, and even receiving a lower mark! Spaceball scored just 13% in March 1989 of Zzap!Reviewed on the same page as Afterburner, and even receiving a lower mark! Spaceball scored just 13% in March 1989 of Zzap!
Once played a few times, the appeal will wear off quickly. Certainly not the game it could have been. 61%Many will be attracted by the name, but once played a few times, the appeal will wear off quickly. Certainly not the game it could have been. 61%
The dire conversion of Guerrilla War from Ocean earned just 19% from the Zzap reviewers.The dire conversion of Guerrilla War from Ocean earned just 19% from the Zzap reviewers. The game was summed up by saying it was the worst full-price Commando variant available to date!
Activision's awful conversion of Sega's arcade hit Afterburner flamed out with a woeful review score of just 17%.Activision's awful conversion of Sega's arcade hit Afterburner flamed out with a woeful review score of just 17%. The game received a conversion factor of just 30, and the reviewing team stated that flying a jet through Legoland was hardly the most thrilling of prospects,
Receiving a paltry 15% rating, the Zzap team said Double Dragon was one of the most disappointing arcade conversions ever.Receiving a paltry 15% rating, the Zzap team said Double Dragon was one of the most disappointing arcade conversions ever.
US Gold re-released Artic's terrible old soccer game as World Cup Carnival, earning a woeful 11% in Zzap!64.Faced with no soccer game for their expensive licence, US Gold cobbled together a box full of crap and re-released Artic's terrible old soccer game as World Cup Carnival, earning a woeful 11% in Zzap!64.
Domark's awful C64 conversion of Hard Drivin' received a woeful 20% rating in Zzap!64. The game was so bad it was only released as part of a couple of compilations.Domark's awful C64 conversion of Hard Drivin' received a woeful 20% rating in Zzap!64, with the reviewers stating that the game is about as much fun to drive as half a C5 with a flat battery. The game was so bad it was only released as part of a couple of compilations.
With the second lowest review score in the history of Zzap!64, Jet Strike Mission received a measly 4% rating!With the second lowest review score in the history of Zzap!64, Jet Strike Mission received a measly 4% rating!
A fatal mastering problem caused The Further Adventures of Alice in Videoland to be awarded the joint worst ever review in Zzap!64 of just 3%!A fatal mastering problem caused The Further Adventures of Alice in Videoland to be awarded the joint worst ever review in Zzap!64 of just 3%!
Robobolt was a £1.99 budget game reviewed in Zzap!64 issue 20, earning the lowest ever rating with a paltry 3%!Robobolt was a £1.99 budget game reviewed in Zzap!64 issue 20, earning the lowest ever rating with a paltry 3%!
Knight Rider was reviewed by ZZAP!64 in issue 18 (October 1986) and received an overall rating of just 16%.Knight Rider was reviewed by ZZAP!64 in issue 18 (October 1986) and received an overall rating of just 16%.
Commando scored 77% in Zzap, with the main complaint being the fact that only three of the arcade's eight levels were included.Commando scored 77% in Zzap, with the main complaint being the fact that only three of the arcade's eight levels were included. Glitchy graphics also meant the game didn't quite live up to its potential.
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