Diary of a Game
Robobolt Zzap Review
• Alpha Omega, £1.95 cassette, joystick only
Your mission takes place in a strange corridor in the very depths of a space port. You enter, slightly timid, not knowing what will confront you. The corridor must be shut down before the virus colonies that have taken refuge there infiltrate the entire spaceport.
The only solution is to collect four Death Pods — doesn't sound much fun. When the four pods have been collected in the correct order, the corridor disappears and you find yourself in another one. The Death pods take the shape of black or white squares which can be found on the floor. When one is collected a yellow light appears on the status board and you must manoeuvre your Robot along the corridor to locate the assembly unit, marked with blue and white stripes. Plonk the pod in the assembly unit and go and look for the next one...
Mobile viruses float around the corridors making your life difficult — each time the droid you control comes into contact with a nasty it loses some radiation energy. Viruses can be zapped with a bolt of energy released by a prod of the fire button in conjunction with a direction. Killing a bug bumps up your energy.
Once the Death Pods have been installed in the assembler, the virus is eliminated in the current corridor and it's through the portal and on to clean up yet another corridor.
I really can't believe this game. It's just so pathetic, unplayable and boring. This really is the pits of Commodore software. The graphics and sound are instantly forgettable, and as for the gameplay... if you want to torture someone, strap them into a chair and force them to play this! If I was given a choice between playing this again or being injected with Gastro Enteritis, I'd go for the illness every time — it's far more enjoyable and stimulating.
'I'm sorry, but I have to tell you... there's very little hope for your newly purchased game.'
'Are you sure?'
'I'm afraid so. It doesn't look too good. We could barely get a sound out of it, so I think we should...'
'You don't mean!...'
'Yes — I hate to save it, but your game is virtually dead. It would be best if we took it off your hands and disposed of it humanely.'
'I... I don't know what to say.'
'Look — a word of advice: the next time you decide to buy a game, take precautions. Use a reliable reference source. Or better still, don't do it unless you are sure it won't result in an unwanted game.'
This is diabolical — even at a budget price it's a poor offering. The graphics are simplistic and very dull, and there's hardly any sound to speak of. The tasks are so incredibly tedious. To be quite honest, I played it for half an hour, got thoroughly bored and threw it away. I just hope it doesn't return...
If you have any idea what should go in this box, please let me know! :)